Funny Family- Part I

My family is funny...subtly, over-the-top, however you see it.....And as a continuing series here's my first take on a wonderous motley of the most different people you'll ever find! So, I have a funny uncle...and this particular uncle loves telling stories... even when the other side is not ready to listen and is in visible pain after one or two hours of his story-telling...Did I mention that Uncle has an opinion on everything under the sun. So whether it is sweet potato cultivation or the political uncertainty in the Czech Republic, Uncle will have something to say about it and say he does :\ Three scenes of my interaction with darling Uncle...

Scene 1: Somewhere in 1997

Me with my cousins: Wow! Shaktimaan is so cool....

Uncle: So what? Even I can do what he can.

Me (at my young impressionable age): Really? How is that?

Uncle (with the superior aim of having claimed a victim): I know Kundalini Yoga...blah blah blah blah....I can awaken my inner Kundalini and blah blah blah....

Scene 2: By now, having aged a little, I could see how the Kundalini hadn't yet awakened, but yet, I wasn't any the wiser!

Me (to my Aunt and cousins): When was the state of Kerala was formed?

Aunt: I don't know....I guess somewhere in 1960's...

Me: Uncle, do you know when this happened?

Uncle (relishing the capture of an old victim): Now, it so happened that I was witness to the formation of the state of Kerala...blah blah....

My cousins meanwhile escaped leaving me as the only audience...albeit a much wiser one ;)

Scene 3: Cut to today. I now measure each word as I speak to my uncle. The trap could be laid anytime. So, all unnecessary conversation is avoided. ( correction: ALL conversation is avoided)

Me: Hello

Uncle: So, where are you interning?

Me: Boston ..... ....

Uncle: Boston.....hmmmm....

Me: Uh-oh....yeah well....Boston... is that a doorbell I hear?

Uncle: Isn't Boston in the US?

Me: Yeah.... it was the last time I heard it....Amma, I'm coming..

Uncle: Have you heard about the Boston Tea Party? ( :0 where did that come from?) So when people in Africa were starving, the Americans were throwing food into the sea.... Blah blah blah..... (btw, I wouldn't have been surprised if Uncle had claimed his ancestors to have witnessed the aforementioned event, nothing is impossible for someone who claims to match Shaktimaan;) )

Last heard, Uncle had recently found the cure for cancer through his research and was talking about Aishwarya Rai having pancreatic cancer. Also, he's waiting for an audience to talk to... Any takers?