Funny Family- Part II

My family loves to talk. and talk they do.....so, in the second series of Funny Family, I chronicle my beloved family member's Top 5 favourite sayings...

5. We never backanswered our parents...
- Really? Its not as if you would have had your way anyways....which is more like why you won't let me have mine either :P

4. Look at Valliachan's son, Cheriamma's daughter, Iyengar Aunty's daughter-in-law, Sharma Uncle's dog......so obedient, so loving, so family oriented, so.....
- Hmmmm......well since I seem to fare lacklustre in comparison to almost the entire youth brigade, either there's something wrong with me.....or we could just blame it on the genes! the apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? :P

2. Do you know how we lived? We were 3/4/5/6/7....in one family. But still we managed to live happily.
- Yeah, so family planning wasn't vogue in your times...in any case, have you read about inflation? Not to forget it is your sibling's offspring and their extended family which are crowding the roads and competing for my jobs. :

3. You do not understand the value of money. You have not earned any of your own and yet you keep making your preposterous demands.
- Of course, I have value for money.... why do you think I don't spend any of mine.....which is also why I prefer spending it from your pocket.....and why I want to spend it before it is too late ;)

1. You will not understand now. But YOU WILL one day, when you have kids of your own. And then you'll know what it is to be a parent. And then, I'll look and laugh.
- This one takes the cake, the baker and the bakery also.....why do they have to be so sadistic? At this rate, I'm actually dreading having kids of my own, if they're going to be anything like mine...

Funny Family- Part I

My family is funny...subtly, over-the-top, however you see it.....And as a continuing series here's my first take on a wonderous motley of the most different people you'll ever find! So, I have a funny uncle...and this particular uncle loves telling stories... even when the other side is not ready to listen and is in visible pain after one or two hours of his story-telling...Did I mention that Uncle has an opinion on everything under the sun. So whether it is sweet potato cultivation or the political uncertainty in the Czech Republic, Uncle will have something to say about it and say he does :\ Three scenes of my interaction with darling Uncle...

Scene 1: Somewhere in 1997

Me with my cousins: Wow! Shaktimaan is so cool....

Uncle: So what? Even I can do what he can.

Me (at my young impressionable age): Really? How is that?

Uncle (with the superior aim of having claimed a victim): I know Kundalini Yoga...blah blah blah blah....I can awaken my inner Kundalini and blah blah blah....

Scene 2: By now, having aged a little, I could see how the Kundalini hadn't yet awakened, but yet, I wasn't any the wiser!

Me (to my Aunt and cousins): When was the state of Kerala was formed?

Aunt: I don't know....I guess somewhere in 1960's...

Me: Uncle, do you know when this happened?

Uncle (relishing the capture of an old victim): Now, it so happened that I was witness to the formation of the state of Kerala...blah blah....

My cousins meanwhile escaped leaving me as the only audience...albeit a much wiser one ;)

Scene 3: Cut to today. I now measure each word as I speak to my uncle. The trap could be laid anytime. So, all unnecessary conversation is avoided. ( correction: ALL conversation is avoided)

Me: Hello

Uncle: So, where are you interning?

Me: Boston ..... ....

Uncle: Boston.....hmmmm....

Me: Uh-oh....yeah well....Boston... is that a doorbell I hear?

Uncle: Isn't Boston in the US?

Me: Yeah.... it was the last time I heard it....Amma, I'm coming..

Uncle: Have you heard about the Boston Tea Party? ( :0 where did that come from?) So when people in Africa were starving, the Americans were throwing food into the sea.... Blah blah blah..... (btw, I wouldn't have been surprised if Uncle had claimed his ancestors to have witnessed the aforementioned event, nothing is impossible for someone who claims to match Shaktimaan;) )

Last heard, Uncle had recently found the cure for cancer through his research and was talking about Aishwarya Rai having pancreatic cancer. Also, he's waiting for an audience to talk to... Any takers?

Go.....Break a leg!

1. Do some random stuff.
2. Turn around. JUST LIKE THAT. Turn around.
3. Hear the snap of the knee buckling in.
4. Try putting the dislocated knee back into the socket.
5. Now, fall down making the most painful face possible to attract attention.



And that is how I managed to break my leg effortlessly. Voila..... midway between making a fool of myself while compering on stage, I turn around so that noone is deprived of the pleasure of seeing my red face. And then, Steps 1 to 5 happened in quick motion quickly leaving me incapacitated.


A quick trip to Appolo with Smartass, Reddygaru and Carrots ensured something was wrong with my knee; except Rs.1500 of initial diagnosis couldn't confirm what? : While I was wincing in pain, Reddygaru happily announces that she's never had more fun in a long time and begins clicking photos(only if the IV and the injections were less threatening, I'd probably have agreed with her) To add insult to injury (literally), the doctor goes ahead and lets everyone know that I have "fat thighs"; a possible cause of the freak accident. :(


Meanwhile, news of the heroic(?) event reached college and I had to act quick and invent an exciting story. Reddygaru to the rescue-We quickly pinned the blame on My3's falling on my knee as the reason behind the injury. Things would have gone well if news of this hadn't reached My3 who was now talked about as being responsible for my fracture:P
>>>Revert to original story. This meant that I lost all chances of sympathy capitalizing, what with people actually doubting my injury.


After rounds of Rs.350/consultation, the doctor finally announced that he believes it could be an injury to the meniscus (the stress here is on "believes", he's still not sure)


3 months down the line, the injury's allright and my versions have changed...So I've hurt my leg playing a backhand shot in tennis (how that can be managed even I don't know), while tumbling down the stairs and even while running the college marathon...


I take this opportunity to thank all my friends for being the most wonderful I've ever had. You guys helped me stand up on my feet and gave me all the courage I ever needed.(except for someone who suggested amputation and using the Jaipur Foot as an alternative to the one I already had) ;)