Vrooom....

Screech....the brakes came to a halt and my mom looked as if she had just been brought back to life! My dad was in visible pain but he managed to camouflage it well enough (like how you manage that "I'm fine, I haven't swallowed the fish bone!" look)...

If you are imagining painful agonizing situations, you couldn't be more mistaken....well I'm sure my mom gladly would put down on paper that she had never been in a more dangerous situation, all that was happening was me practising driving on the family car! And all my patience and fortitude being tested to stay calm and focused amidst the panic....

I dont know why i decided to start with this post but considering I've resumed my driving classes with Ranaji (my dad's company driver cum watchman)... I thought what better time to put down my classic memories!

After much prodding at home (read: peer pressure), I finally joined Ruby Driving Classes. The name itself should have deterred me, but my optimism and drive literally took me for one-"a drive" that is...

Paan-stained Pandeyji had the car in his control. That clearly meant the car moved and stopped as per his choice, while I just played around with the gears.

My only takeaway from the course was ABC, which he taught me on the first day: Accelerator-Brake-Clutch! (sometimes I still get confused how it works: ABC from the left or ABC from the right?... what don't judge me! I'm just a li'l slow sometimes). And then thats it! Pandeyji expected me to start driving like Schumacher... well he would have been happy with a few ordinary mortal efforts also! But when nothing worked, he decided I was just good enough to fetch gutkha! Serves that bastard right..... I bet he doesn't know gutkha causes cancer!;)

Meanwhile thanks to Mumbai's amazingly efficient RTO, I managed to get a license after a small drive, most of which was manoeuvred by Pandeyji :)

On the drive back, I was happy I got my license. But Pandeyji got into one of his moods and decided to lecture me on sex-starved Aunties in Bombay. If you are wondering where that came from, imagine my surprise :o. Pandeyji must have decided if the 6 footer squirming next to him isn't good enough for driving, there must be something he can "drive" well, eh? But I didn't wanna let him know I was a "paavam" "chamathu" South Indian boy who had no intention to approach the above mentioned ladies for a "test drive", so I let him play along!!!

As you must have inferred by now, all the lame attempts finally got to me and I decided I was done. NO MORE DRIVING! aaah well....in any case, I've always loved the luxury of having a driver take me around.

That just led to uncomfortable conversations about my driving skills or the lack of it. So, my mom's friends (some of them who were just waiting for an opportunity to belittle her goody-two-shoes son) had a good time bragging about their offspring (who I believe started driving after thet graduated from bicycles) while my dad's friends simply sympathised(read: look at that retard, he can't drive???). I still cant figure out what's worse :( ;)

That more or less sealed my driving fortunes. I quietly slipped into oblivion into the back seat, silently envying all the good drivers around me! But my forthcoming internship put things in a new perspective..... Imagine Best Consulting Group asking me to park the car and me making that face (the one I have during Financial Accounting class. Atleast I can always claim I love Marketing in class; what do I say here? I prefer BEST buses?) So, I took things into fifth gear and got Ranaji to give me lessons.

Ranaji is also kinda funny. But he never gave me the ABC lesson (I had already figured it out prior to his handing the car keys over to me hehe;)) He is good and patient and I finally seem to be getting the hang of it. I have already bumped the car once. But it is my sincere belief that "never bumped, never learnt". :) Ranaji has promised to keep it our own secret. So, whether or not, I manage to drive well, one thing I've definitely managed: overcome my fear! And for that.... I say drive along :)